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Bakura and Marik walk onto stage behind a portable black sheet.  Bakura appears first.  

Bakura: Ah, it’s nice to finally get some me time. Time to clear my head, relish my successes, abuse my host’s body—

Marik: Funny how you’re seldom eager to abuse MY body lately.  (appears from behind the sheet.)

Bakura: Ah! Marik, how long have YOU been there?

Marik: Not long enough apparently.  I came… to bring you the most powerful Steve of all time.  CRAZY STEVE!

Bakura: Hold on, I thought that Linkara guy told us if we ever saw him to bury him alive and burn the shovel.  

Marik: Foolish Fool!  Linkara didn’t know what he was WASTING!  With this Steve’s money, fighting prowess and resources (Bakura interrupts: money IS a resource) we don’t even need to waste minions on children’s card games anymore!  

Bakura: Doesn’t that defeat the entire purpose of our franchise?  And why are you exclaiming most of your sentences?

Marik: He told me it sounds more commanding.  (Marik suddenly realizes Bakura’s point, which is a bit of a let down) And yes, straightforward assassination does defeat the vehicle of this cash machine.  Now come, CRAZY STEVE! (those last two words coming out like ecstasy.)

ASSBAR Batman Appears: I’m the GODDAMN BATMAN! (Take this soundbyte from a Linkara clip)

Marik, mildly annoyed, whips out his rod and points it to the floor: Shut up.  Your name is Steve now.  

Steve, complying as soon as the rod is pointed, nothing spoken.

Bakura:  Are you sure you can trust him to carry out your orders?  He’s openly not in his own mind to begin with.  What do you even have to work with?

Steve: I am the smartest, the greatest and the most strategic god damn detectiveof all god—

Marik gives a sharp 90 degree twist of his rod to shut Steve up, then kicks him in the head for good measure: 2 words, buddy, ”Total Vacancy.”  I mean look at the guy, getting punched repeatedly in the head every night without any sort of protection.  He’s even better than Steve the Mime!

Bakura: How’s that?  I thought the Silent Doll (Marik: MIME!) err, mime, was supposed to be your best because he had no consciousness to resist with.  What’s this guy got that beats that?

Marik: I’m glad you asked, Steve.  (Bakura: I’m BAKURA!!) While you’re constantly inside the body of one of my little Steves.  Oooh.  But to answer your question, this Steve has a final FORM!!  (turns to steve) Steve, dear. Do the trick (as though coaching a pet creature) show Bakura your trick.  (Whistles 3 times).

Steve walks behind curtain, and the Fixer from Holy Terror comes out and uses his punch pose from the Holy Terror cover to knock out Bakura.  

Marik: Sorry, should have warned you.  He does that whenever he transforms.  Hello?  Bakura?  Oh, I think you really hurt him.  Oh well, that covers the 20 bucks he owed me.  C’mon Steve, let’s get sushi.  

Steve (as they walk off-stage): My name is-

Marik: Whatever I tell you it is.

Skit ends with Black Sheet following them, Bakura vanishing behind it as it passes him.
Back in the day I would write Cosplay Skits for my friends.  I usually couldn't get anyone to agree to dress the parts and compete at cons, but these usually got a laugh out of people anyway.  I've had this in my head for awhile, knowing that in Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged The Millennium Rod only controls people named Steve, and Linkara dubbed Frank Miller's Batman "Crazy Steve" I put two and two together and came up with this.  I tried to stay relatively within the existing material to fully explore the crossover concept.  

SO what do you think?  Please favorite and leave comments.  THank you.
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Submitted on
August 10, 2014


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